Just a note, from a Mom.
Summer was a blur. Even if it was record temps and only two days of rain, I can tell you now that I am actually settled enough for summer to begin, but instead it will end.
I missed my husband almost the whole summer. I feel guilt just complaining about it, but I missed him. He worked an ungodly amount of hours and to make matters worse, I work weekends. Like so many families in Seattle feeling the cost of living crunch, we are doing what we can to live where our heart is. I know I am not alone in the struggle to keep our heads above water.
Becoming an adult is not all its cracked up to be. Remember when you were little and everyone older than you seemed cooler, wiser and just simply more awesome? Then you become an adult and you wonder why you ever thought that.
Adults have to make decisions -big decisions- with outcomes we can not take back. The weight can seem so heavy at times.
Then small moments happen. Small and sweet moments that can bring you to your knees and make you weep.
Today my son asked to nap in my bed. This is actually my preference these days as it seems to be the only way to ensure a nap happens and Buzz Lightyear gets a break from my son flying him around the room. I laid there next to his tiny body pretending I was asleep (this makes him want to play less and sleep more). I was busy making lists in my head of things I needed to do, and worrying about the UPS guy ringing the door bell, which causes a cascade of bad events in my house. My dog, Abby will bark relentlessly to save us from that brown box left on the porch, and then my son will bolt out of bed to open the box. My thoughts were interrupted by a soft tiny little hand patting my chest.
“Mom” he whispered.
“Yeah, Bug,” I said with my eyes opening.
“Mom, can I hold your hand?” he said with big brown eyes opening wider.
“Yes, Bug, of course you can.”
I grabbed his hand in mine and we stared, foreheads pressed against each other. Then he started to smile the biggest smile I have ever seen. All I could think was my heart was literally going to rupture. I started to weep begging my God that when I go out, please let me see this smile. Those eyes and his unabashed joy. Please. Even though silent tears poured from my eyes; he kept smiling, and so did I.
These are the moments when the problems of the world, finances, relationships are suddenly stilled. Like a mute button has been hit. All you can see or feel is the moment right in front of you.
Small moments like these remind us to be present. Be here. Now.
I hope you enjoy this session as much as I did.