Part II: An Uncomfortable Blessing
by Tilly Goble, Seattle Photographer
[clear-line]
Read Part I HERE
Yesterday on my way home from a photography client session, the Uber driver asked me what I do. I told him I’m a photographer, and he remarked that I must be pretty successful. I responded with a shrug, “I am pretty blessed.” Women, why do we do that? Why is owning our power, our success, our ideas, our initiative so hard? Why can’t we scream to the sky, “I am a hustler! I work hard and I am so proud of myself!” Why does it come out like I am being naughty and someone is going to get me in trouble if I simply own my success? That isn’t a blessing. It’s uncomfortable to the point that our own humility (if you want to call it that) is a curse.
Feeling powerful as a woman can make us seem ruthless, or even considered a four (or five) letter word. What’s frightening is research shows these impressions don’t necessarily belong to men, but to other women. Let that sink in for a moment.
The attitude women carry toward other successful women is helping no one. There’s a great book called “Tripping the Prom Queen”. Tripping the Prom Queen is an investigation of the dark secret of female friendships-the deep vein of female rivalry. Based on interviews with women across the social spectrum, Susan Shapiro Barash has exploded the myth that women are generally supportive of one another. In fact, the competition between women is more vicious precisely because it is covert. She tells us why women can’t and won’t admit to rivalry. How women are trained from an early age to compete with one another. There’s mounds of literature on this topic, but let’s cut to the chase. What the hell is wrong with us, ladies?! I am not your enemy, and you are not mine. Perhaps it is a biological imperative to ensure reproduction left over from the Stone Ages, but it’s time we use our brains and our values to stop. It’s time we teach our daughters and sons that women are competent, capable, hard working, and more than merely blessed.
What the hell is wrong with us, ladies?! I am not your enemy, and you are not mine. Perhaps it is a biological imperative to ensure reproduction left over from the Stone Ages, but it’s time we use our brains and our values to stop. It’s time we teach our daughters and sons that women are competent, capable, hard working, and more than merely blessed.
