Things are about to get really personal on this blog, but let’s be real, I am always an open book. Deep breaths. So here it goes. My husband and I separated.
As if there was not enough crow in the world for me to eat after I became a mother, I am now sitting in the ‘divorcee’ chair belled up and eating a huge plate of crow. Instead of placing my napkin on my lap like a lady, I am keeping it real and just tucking it in the collar of my shirt. Because #authenticity.
I can’t even play dumb about how I got here. In one of our many conversations leading up to our separation, we both admitted we had some major doubts going into it and we both just felt we ‘had to’. It is what you do, you get married, you have kids. You check all the boxes. We were each other’s boxes that were loaded with some major doubt and concern. We really didn’t know any better. We were doing what we thought everyone else was doing. Was there any other way? We did not believe in fireworks, soulmates, or fairy dust. We believed in just ‘making it work’.
Like many people, we grew, we changed. I wanted more than the status quo. Guys, our marriage was good. We have more respect for each other than A LOT of marriages out there. We can communicate kindly and calmly. If there is a trophy for it, we have it! We travel well together, we are killer parents, we are each other’s biggest supporter. We are kind to each other. We were just missing some major pieces that make a marriage different from best of friends.
I want to try for more. This decision took about three years to make, but when it came, it came like a nine pound hammer. We both knew it was time, and it was best for us both. He was tired of always feeling like he was failing me, and I was tired of always feeling like he ‘just wasn’t that into me’.
We are both worthy of our wildest dreams and we are signing up for the possibility.
We both never thought it would happen to us, but here we are. Both reexamining what life is like in your late thirties and single. One thing I am so lucky to say is that he will forever be my biggest supporter, the one and only father of my kiddo, and my best friend.
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As well as being a human with human experiences, Tilly is also a photographer! Check out her latest session with this sweet family and their epically cool nursery!